Whats jokes
If you could add one zero to any number for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
What do you call the nun that hates?
For Paul Walker, Mother Teresa.
What happened when two invisible giants knocked over their blocks?
9/11.
What do you say to the orphan?
"Shut up, get a mom and dad!"
If you’ve got me, you want to share me; if you share me, you haven’t kept me. What am I?
What do you call a kid hanging? An emo kid!
Isn't having depersonalization mean that you like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?
(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)
What’s the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?
A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.
What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.
What’s the difference between me and grass? Grass doesn’t cut itself.
What do you call a dog with 2 legs?
It doesn’t matter, it won’t come anyways.
What’s an orphan’s favorite holidays? Mothers’ and Father’s Day.
Did you know that most women are left-handed?
That’s because the majority of them don’t know what to do with rights.
Why do orphans not play bingo?
Because they don’t know what a full house is.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
A guy in a Costco was pretty pissed off at something. A guy walks up to him and says, "What's wrong, pal? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned aisle!"
Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.
Guys, do not follow Tom, he is super inappropriate. I did a 48-hour face reveal and this is what he said:
Tom 13 minutes ago Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ur so cute I wanna fuck your pussy so hard you look amazing I luv ur face come have sex with me mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.
Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.
Anyone know what happened?