What bumps up and down at 100km an hour?
A baby tied to the back of a speeding truck.
Whats Jokes
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage...
What happens when you throw water on Stephen Hawking?
He says, "Oh fuck fuck fuck!"
What do you call a fish with no legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Break!
Imperial Pilot: What do you think about the new Tie fighter?
Palpatine: Flew it.
Guess what Sally got for Christmas? Gloves! Jk, she still hasn't opened it.
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."
Q: What's red and screams?
A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
What do you call two bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
A french fry was talking to a potato, but the potato didn't understand what he was saying.
It was because he didn't speak French.
What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?
"Happy Death-Day To You!"
A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"
John: What's 9+10?
Jake: 21
What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"
He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"
What happens when you suck?
You succ.
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
What do Ethiopian people have better than Australians?
Internet.