Whats jokes
What did your mom get for Christmas?
A big black horse dildo.
Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak?
Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.
Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mind?
Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals. The people will go nuts for a great deal!
Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.
Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up! Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?
Neona: Hmm...let's see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......
An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.
The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.
What do you call sex?
Making cake.
Look at your left hand, now look at your right hand, and tell yourself, "Which hand do you cheat with?"
Wanking.
What do you say to toast with bad shoes?
"Butter those."
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?
My last if she knows what's good for her.
What's the difference between leafmen and leafwomen? Palm trees.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a dinosaur? A cat-astrophe!
What do Asian people eat?
Rice.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
What did the Indian person say to the lady?
"Curry up, will you?"
What do you call a Black person having a seizure?
What do you call an emo who's emo?
An emo.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you slap the mosquito, it stops sucking.
What did South Korea say to North Korea? Go read a book!
What does a Hufflepuff wolf say? “I will huffle and puff, and blow your house down!”
That is related to Harry Potter 🧙🏼♂️.
What’s the difference between a computer and Paul Walker? I give a crap when my computer crashes.
What's God's favorite Michael Jackson song? The Earth Song. 😍😍😍
What's brown and sticky?
An orphan.