Whats jokes
What are the similarities between Stephen Hawking and a bull?
They both charge.
This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?
Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite crisps?
Microchips 😂
What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.
Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...
What do you call a cow that sleeps?
A bulldozer! 🐄💤
Memes
Gusty mood
"Knock, knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Cow said."
"Cow said who?"
"Cow says moo you ding dong!"
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.
Person 1 says to Person 2: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."
So Person 2 says to Person 1: "What's the name of his other leg?"
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
What do you call a dog that is part pug, part poodle, and part cup?
A muggle! 🤠🤠🤠🤠🥴
What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.
What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?
He cracked up!
What is a dog that is awesome? A smart dog.
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment!
What did the 5 say to the S?
"Nice shape."
What has a dog?
People.
What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.