Whats jokes
What animal can't you trust with your homework?
A: A cheetah!
This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.
Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.
Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.
Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!
What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?
They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?
A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.
What does NASA stand for?
Need a star A.S.A.P.!
What did the mustard say to the ketchup? "Quit running so fast, let me ketchup to you."
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?
Mitosis!!! (my-toe-sis)
Why does Megan sound like a man, but she is a good singer and rapper, but then people talk about her? What's y'all rapper are singer?
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
CANCER!
Just kidding, they are both fun to laugh at.
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: 🙄.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: 😳😶😟.
My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Answer: A FLAP.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked up.
What’s New York’s favorite game?
2001 flight simulator.
Me scrolling through jokes that sum up my life, starts crying.
My friend: What’s wrong?
Me: Nothing, it's just so funny. Lol😂🤣😂