Whats jokes
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!
What is another name for a stupid fish?
"Dum bass."
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
What mountain do people like to race on?
Mount Rushmore.
Get it?
What is the easiest line to draw in the hospital?
My heartbeat.
What do you call me?
Chinese?
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
What kind of animal falls from the sky?
Answer: A raindeer.
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What kind of instrument is always having to go potty?
A pee-ano/piano.
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
What kind of paper gets stuck to your foot?
DUH! A sticker.
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
What starts with "P" and ends with "E" and has a million letters?
Post Office.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.
Little Johnny's mom is taking a shower. Little Johnny walks in and asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Mommy says, "That is my keyhole." The next day, Little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and Little Johnny asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Daddy says, "That is my key." The next day Little Johnny says to his dad, "Looks like the neighbor has the key to Mommy's keyhole too."