Whats jokes
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...
What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"
What is a cow?
What was the most famous skeleton detective in the world? Sherlock Bones!
What do you call an Indian going through the bins?
RUM-MAJINGG
What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?
Nothing, they both stain.
What's NASA's grossest mission?
Probing Uranus.
What did the fish say when he hit the wall?
Dam!
If Red gets voted out, what happened?
Red is not voted out, Red is a hacker, so he kills Blue. OK, so someone found Blue's body. Red said, "Where?"
Lime, Green, and Purple said, "How is Red not dead?"
Red: "I am a hacker, you noobs!"
Lime, Green, and Purple run.
Red killed them all. Red is the win, but he is not the win.
Black killed Red. Black is the win.
LOL
Teacher: What's your favorite animal?
Me: Desert Eagle.
Teacher: Why?
Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.
What did one copper say to the other? C U.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor: 10 babies in one trash can.
Morbid humor: 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."
What do Greek people never want to have on their food? Grease.
What does a gay horse eat?
Haaaaaaay!
What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.
What’s a foot on one end, a foot on the other end, and a foot in the middle?
A meter stick.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.
What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?
Family Feud.