What’s the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon.
Whats Jokes
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.
What will Reddit be without the robot logo?
Reddot.
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!
What is it called when young sheep bet?
LAMbling.
(haven't uploaded yesterday cuz couldn't think of a joke)
What do you call a train that stalls?
The little engine that couldn't!
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.
What’s another name for a cow?
You... cause you're fat.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
So this one time I saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and I helped her up and she said "Thank you," and I said, "You're welcome." The next day I saw her legs and someone said, "I would not do that," and I said, "Whatever." I tapped Sally, and the top halve fell. I said, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY?" And someone said she went in a minefield.
Las Vegas has a new 550-foot-tall Ferris wheel, hoping to gain tourists.
What’s already gaining “tourists”? Whores.
What is a Mexican’s favorite band?
Twenty Juan Pilots.
What do gum and guns have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend all of a sudden.
What games do monks play a lot?
Among Us.
In 2013, it was reported that China has lost around 28,000 rivers; over half of what they thought existed. Some say climate change is the cause, others say it’s their harsh, economic expansion that’s unapologetic to the environment.
My theory is that those 28,000 rivers were sold to underground river-sex trafficking.
