What did the egg say to the other egg?
Nothing, they can't talk.
What did the egg say to the other egg?
Nothing, they can't talk.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't comin'.
What is Bugs Bunny's favorite dessert?
Chocolate carrots balls.
What does pussy taste like in chocolate cream pie?
Don't ever ask me no damn question like that. I ain't never had no damn chocolate cream pie, you crazy?
This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!
What is the difference between chocolate and sex?
I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.
You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
"Echhh!"
I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.
Interfischl
Happy
Apple
Tea
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
What do you call an ant with so much power?
A ter-mite.
Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?
Son: No, I got 1k already.
Mom: Wait, what, how?
Son: Mom's wallet is magic.
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.
But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!
Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.
BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!
Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite movie?
Black and white.
Why can’t an orphan play games with a full house in them? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
What famous book writer for kids loved insects?
Beatrix Potter.