Whats jokes
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
What is one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in the school zone.
What did the Teacher say to the orphan?
"I am calling your parents!"
What is the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
"Pikachu, I choose you!"
What's the difference between you and an orphan?
Nothing.
What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?
I wanna kick some balls!
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?
An earthquake.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?
Batman has no one to call "daddy."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite beverage? Milk.
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's dad? The clock comes back around.
What is Donald Trump's hairstyle called?
A comb-over.
What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?
The worst shits you'll ever see!
What's white and sticky?
Toothpaste.
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
What do you call Aston?
Asston.
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?
A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.