Whats jokes
What does an iPhone have that orphans do not?
Home buttons.
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.
So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...
What show can the orphan relate to... Full House.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it always comes back.
What’s the difference between McDonald’s and 9/11?
One is a drive through; the other is a fly through.
What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
What do you call people who jumped in the dam?
A dam fool.
Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."
What’s the only long-lasting thing from China?
Covid.
What did Stephen Hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter? Beep boop beep beep boop.
What borders on stupidity?
Scotland and the EU.
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?
Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."
Teacher: Tell me a moral story.
Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.
Teacher: What is the moral even?
Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want—he can’t hear you.
What planet has a butt? Uranus!
What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
What makes a cult and a racist family of 5 common?
Not all are friends.