Whats jokes
What do you call German weed?
Mustard Gas.
What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.
Want to know what I do in my freetime?
Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?
Ow!
What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?
Prison FC
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
Me: A lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant.
Friend: Like what?
Me: My name, my address, my phone number...
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face.
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?
A microtransaction.
Doctor: You'll be at peace soon, sir.
Me: What? Am I dying?
Doctor: No, your wife is.
Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.
Girl: What?
It says "spray on flat surfaces."
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?
A: They both come in a little behind.
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*
What's the difference between emos and 9/11?
The emos are still there, high up off the ground.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked.
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.
Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?
Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?