What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
Whats Jokes
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
What do you call a blowjob in Africa?
Breakfast.
What do orgasms and pulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf and sex."
Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"
Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."
The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."
The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"
What do you call a black goldfish? A gigger.
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES nature?
MC Green
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
A LYRICAL WIZARD
What do you call a rapper who took a dump?
Lil' Crappie.
What do you call a rapper with a PhD?
A rap scholar.
What do you call a rapper who's always COLD?
MC Freezer.
What did one saggy boob say to the other?
"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"
What's the most played game in Africa? The Hunger Games.
What do you get when you cross cow DNA with human DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
What do you call a rapper who's afraid of GHOSTS?
MC Shiver.
An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.
What do you call a rapper who's always late?
Time Rhyme.
What's a rapper's favorite type of exercise?
RHYME and REPEAT.
