Whats jokes
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?
The baseball player knows where home base is.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
What’s the difference between Juice WRLD and George Floyd?
Nothing, they both can’t breathe.
Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"
Me: "To reduce the population by one."
What’s the difference between Apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
What is an orphan's favorite game? Sims, so they can make a family to have.
What is the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?
The baseball player has a home to run back to.
What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them, they disappear.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Coff- na, jk, bleach.
What do you call a flat-chested emo? A cutting board.
What do you call a dark, average height Punjabi male?
Josiah.
What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus? It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture.
Hey, Reaper!!! Where are you going?
"I finished my job."
What about me?
Is laughing a problem?
Laughing at what?
I want to jump.
Jump—what?
Jump off the hook.
To whoever @heil dem anfuhrer is, I hope you know I can’t understand what you’re saying. So next time you get on an American website, please speak English, and I don’t speak whatever European language that is.😊
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
The apples get picked.