A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"
An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"
The Scouser says, "Liverpool."
The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"
The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"
Jeff crosses the US border.
The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.
Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."
What is the worst tool to play when playing the game “Icebreaker”?
The Titanic.
What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?
They're both dead...
What's white but not black, and red all over?
J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.
What do you call a black astronaut? A black astronaut, you racist.
What’s it called when an orphan takes a photo?
A family picture.
What's the twin towers' favorite football team?
New York Jets.
What do you call a group of emos?
Limited Edition.
What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?
One has a home to run to.
Q: What was Hitler's least favorite candy?
A: Jujubes.
What might an aborted child want for Christmas?
..... a home that isn't a bin.
This category is messed up.
My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.
I love telling jokes about orphans. I mean, what are they going to do about it? Tell their parents?
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? Six hours.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
Me: Looks like a girl, sure as h3ll I don't sound like one.
Michael Jackson: Looks like a boy, sure as h3ll don't sound like one.
That [is] what we have i[n] commen, but if you mix up my gender I won't give a F about it. Michael Jackson not so much : )
You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?
Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...
Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.
What do depressed people do when they’re bored?
They “Hang” Out.
