Whats jokes
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
Do you know what the hardest part of school is?
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
What do you get when you mix a white guy and a fire?
A firecracker.
What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What's the best way to get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?
They both have torn rotators.
What's still together after all the sh*t they've been through? Your butt cheeks.
What has 30 legs but can't swim?
A bus full of children!
What's the hardest part about making vegetable stew?
Trying to get the wheelchair to fit into the pot.
What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.
I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."
What does the "f" in "orphan" stand for? Family, but there's no "f".
What do you call an autistic kid going down the stairs in a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels!
What's long, hard, and full of semen?
Answer: Me.
Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
What cookies did the orphans never try?
Home made cookies!
One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.
Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.
Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."