Whats jokes
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"
Why can't orphans play poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.
(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.
My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"
What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.
I make weed disappear, what's your superpower?
What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
What do you call a dead black plantation worker? Fertilizer.
What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?
The rope.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?
They both are plastic and like kids.
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.
What kind of flour do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising flour.