Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
Whats Jokes
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
What can orphans not do in school?
What do you call a person that [proudly] knows only one language? A bloody seppo.
What do you call a person that speaks five languages? A Euro waiter.
If you're bored, just go hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"
What do you call two black lads in gold?
A Twix.
What do you call a kid hanging? An emo kid!
What kind of ball does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.
What did the fork say to the spoon?
Nothing, forks don’t speak, silly!
What do you call a Muslim bee?
Habibee.
Why do blind kids like plane crashes?
Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.
What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
Michael Jackson's hand.
There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.
What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.
Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
Why does New York have the Jets as their football team if those are what took out the Twin Towers?
What do you call a very long bowl?
Manute Bowl.
