Whats jokes
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
What did Earth say to the other planets?
"You guys have no life!"
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? -- "Curses! Foil again!"
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
What has more letters than the alphabet? -- The post office.
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? -- Well, the flag is a big plus.
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.