Whats jokes
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
What do you call a dead fly? -- A flew.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.
"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?
For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? -- Shear madness.
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.
What do cows eat for breakfast? -- Moosli.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
"Quack, quack."