Whats jokes

What do you call a dog magician?

Labracadabrador!

What’s your favorite type of wood? Mine is Bollywood.

What did the explorer say when he got tired?

I'm gonna take a map.

What did the baritone say to the alto?

Nothing, you couldn’t hear him.

What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?

It was scrambled.

What do you call a bad "egg" meme?

Deep fried!

What do you need in order to crash a train?

A bad track record.

What do you call a blonde?

A piss-head.

What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?

I don't know. I suffocated at birth.

A panda walks into a bar. He asked the bartender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him, then leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “Why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “It’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia, and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.

What's the difference between leafmen and leafwomen? Palm trees.

What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?

"I'd hit that."

What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over? The I Fell Tower!

What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.

What kind of shorts do clouds wear?

Thunderwear.

What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?

The Las Vegas shooting.

What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?

A brrrrrrrr-d!

What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?

They both make vegetables.

What did the tree say to the kid with a bike? "Take a hike!"

What is the most difficult day in the ghetto?

Father's Day.