Whats jokes
What's the fastest cake? Scone!
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “What do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed.
Most women can’t pull off sarcasm.
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
What is white, black, and blue all at the same time?
Barack Obama.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
What were Stephen Hawking's dying words?
"Restore factory settings."
What's the difference between a chicken and a dog?
I don't know... I'm from China.
What do you call a plane with no wings?
Sally.
What's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a car in my garage.
What do you call a disabled Asian?
Sum Ting Wong.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What would Stephen Hawking do to get drunk?
Overcharge himself.
What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?
People don't eat their broccoli.
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.