Whats jokes
What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?
The Las Vegas shooting.
What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?
A brrrrrrrr-d!
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
What did the tree say to the kid with a bike? "Take a hike!"
What is the most difficult day in the ghetto?
Father's Day.
What country do French Fries come from? Grease.
What do you call someone with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
What do you call German Music in Spanish? Españodelling.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
What is blue, green, flat, and has teeth?
The Earth, but I lied about the teeth.
What is the difference between Trump and a flying pig? The letter F.
What is the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits for a boy to turn twelve before it comes on his face.
One day Nathan came in ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Nathan, what do you have to say for yourself?" Nathan says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then Dave came in a further ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Dave, what do you have to say for yourself?" Dave says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then Mike came in a further ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Mike, what do you have to say for yourself?" Mike says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then five minutes later a new girl walked in to Mr. Jones's lesson. Mr. Jones is at the end of his tether now and says, "Who are you and why are you late?" The new girl says, "Sir, I'm called Cherry Hill."
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite genre of music? Rock and roll.
Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:
The guy says, "I'm a fireman."
The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"
The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."
The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
What kind of file turns a 5mm hole into a 3cm hole?
A pedo-file.
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
What place can you always find suicidal cows at?
"McDonald's."