Whats jokes
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
What is a doll's favorite dog? A doll-matian.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?
My dick while I'm doing it.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
Error.
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
What can you tell [is] the difference between Stephen Hawking and a carrot?
Nothing.
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...
What is the skeleton's favorite car?
A Zam-bone-y.
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Microchips.
What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
What did one hurricane say to the other?
"I got my EYE on you!"
What did the kid with leukemia watch last night? Finding Chemo.
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
What do you call a mammal that has no hair?
Cancer.
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"