Whats jokes
What happened to the blind man's son?
He thought he was hitting a piñata.
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?
A: Where's the holy baby?
What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? Flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.
What's red and runs up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
What goes up and down but stays in the same place?
Stairs.
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
What is black and white and red all over?
A newspaper.
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.
What’s the best part about banging twenty-eight year olds? There are twenty of them.
What is round and squishy? A dead baby's head.
What do you call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7?
A: A virgin.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a PC?
When my PC crashes, I actually give a fuck.
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.
On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"
Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"
What did the cheetah tell the other cheetah when they had a test?
"Cheetah, cheetah!"
What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?
Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.
Q. What did Hitler give his niece for her birthday?
A. An easy bake oven.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?
Russell
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A Doberman in a playground.
Went to my local Indian restaurant and asked the waiter for a chicken tarka Masala.
The waiter said, "What's that?"
I said, "It's the same as a tikka, just a little otter."