Whats jokes
What's the hardest part of riding a scooter?
Telling your parents you are gay.
A man found out that he was going to die.
A German doctor comes in and says "you have 10 more". The man yells out "10 WHAT!! DAYS!!!! WEEKS!!!". And the doctor says "No seconds". And the man says "9 SECONDS!!!" And the doctor says "Nein. Ten seconds". He asked "How many seconds do I have to live 10, 9 , or...?"
Then he died and learned how to say no in German....
What do you call Trump with no spray tan on his hair?
Your next door grumpy old neighbor.
Q: What do Mexicans love to wear in the air force?
A: Air Force Juans.
What’s Stephen Hawking's favorite song? Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.
What's a retard's favorite rock band? Syndrome of a Down.
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says "What's wrong?" The woman says "I've never been hugged before." So, the man gives her a hug and walks away.
The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says "What's wrong, now?" The woman says "I've never been kissed before." So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away.
The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says "Oh, for Christ's sake! What's wrong, this time?!" The woman says "Well, I've never been fucked before." So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells "YOU'RE FUCKED!"
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
[Link to YouTube video]
What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"
What do you call a bunch of bi-racial, retarded kids? Mixed vegetables.
What does it take to paint a wall red?
Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, "She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?" The wife replies, "Perform the fucking autopsy!"
What's black and red and goes 90 miles an hour? A baby in a blender!
What did the orphans do when the bombs drop?
They said, "Allahu Akbar."
What does a French woman say when you ask her what her favorite video game is? "Oui, oui!"
What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?
The British are cumming! The British are cumming!
What do you call a funny cow?
A cowmedian.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.