Whats jokes

What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?

A stab wound.

What did the lawyer name his twins?

COURTney and CASEy.

What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.

What is Beethoven's favorite vehicle?

A van.

What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.

What animal should wear a wig?

A bald eagle!

You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?

Go look in the mirror.

What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?

Ashtraynauts.

What did the Olympic Swimmer call his son?

Paul.

A father and a son were painting pictures together. The son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T, and the son said, "What happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle. The father replied with, "You know what happened, you were there." The son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings. They're exactly the same.

The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.

What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?

Little boys' pants half off.

What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.

What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.

What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump?

One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets.

What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump?

It just doesn't work...

What are Mexicans' favorite sport?

Cross-country

What are Mexicans' favorite sport?

What's the difference between an ISIS training center and a school?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

What is a pirate's favorite letter?

A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.

What's so special about bullets?

They do work after they are fired.

Did you know that, statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile? Not me though, not me though; I live next door to a lil 10 year old boy with a FAT ASS yenno what I'm sayin'???