Whats jokes
What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?
Two Aussie.
Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?
A: Lean meat.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
What did the frog say to the pedophile?
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
If the broccoli said, "I look like a tree," then what did the mushroom say?
"I look like an umbrella."
What is the smallest room in the world?
A mushroom.
Q: What did Tim say when his girlfriend fell down a rabbit hole?
A: Hole-y shit!
My friend Arid asked me what I did over the weekend. I told him, "I read."
Get it? I read? No... ok.
What's black, white, and "read" all over?
A zebra after a lion is full.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What's a convict's favorite chore?
Weeding.
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
Two friends who've been bros for forever see each other in Wal-Mart in the card section. The first guy asks what he got his wife for her birthday. The second guy tells him he got her a Maserati and a card. The first guy tells him he got his wife a card and a dildo for her birthday.
The second guy asks why he got his wife a dildo for her birthday. The first guy says, "If she doesn't like the card I got her, then she can go fuck herself!"
What did Allah say when he created the universe?
-Allahu akbar!!!
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
What happened to the blind man's son?
He thought he was hitting a piñata.
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?
A: Where's the holy baby?
What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? Flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.