Whats jokes
What is the opposite of salt water?
Pepper water.
What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic.
Damn, DIN just went over me and I'm trying to figure out what it is. A camel's dick.
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
What did the grape say to the banana? "Stop graping me!"
What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"
What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
Q: What's 8 inches and makes my wife scream when I put it in her mouth?
A: Her dead fetus.
So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."
What is your true crush?
A soda crush.
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb.
What do you call a nine year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What kind of vegetable makes the best receptionist?
Cauliflower.
What do you call a short student?
A Ravin.
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
What is the most expensive haircut? Chemotherapy.
What do you call it when you see Chinese people in a gang?
The "Ching Chang Gang."
What was Beethoven called when he only ate beef?
Beefthoven!