Whats jokes
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.
Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says, “911, what's your emergency?” The hunter replies, “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies, “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent, and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says, “Ok, now what?”
If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?
(Stupid People)
Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common?
A: Fu@king close to water!
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
What's the fastest way to Shepherd's Bush?
Up Shepherd's leg.
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
What's worse than 3 babies in one trashcan?
One baby in three trashcans.
What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
One at the bottom that's still alive.
What's worse than that?
It's forced to eat its way out.
What's even worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
What has 6 legs, 10 arms, and 3 heads?
The Boston marathon finish line.
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.
What does a blowjob from an 80-year-old and bungee jumps have in common?
You feel the rush, but don't look down.
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish
What did the mommy tomato tell the little tomato?
You better ketchup!
What do people say when they're fighting?
"Water!"
What do a fat chick and a moped have in common?
They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.
What’s the difference between a baby and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t squeal when I put my meat in it.
What’s the difference between Jimmy and a normal kid? Jimmy is fat.
What do you call a hillbilly girl who's faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin.