Whats jokes
What is sprinkled around the Pokémon floor? Oh right. Ash's ashes.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun that fell down the stairs.
What's black, white, and laughing?
The nun that pushed her.
What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.
What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?
Taco Bell going out of business.
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken.
What do hospitals do when they receive donor organs? They organize them.
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"
Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."
"What was your first impression on him?"
"I told him, she calls me daddy too."
What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.
He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
What's the difference between my dad and my stepdad?
My stepdad beat my ass before he left.
What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.