Whats jokes
What do you call a dabbing cow?
Udder savagery.
What do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
If you're ever bored, kick an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?
A: I find your lack of face disturbing.
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.
Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't f***ing matter, it's still not f***ing coming.
What does the cell ride to work?
A vesicle.
What was the epileptic chef’s house special?
Seizure salad.
What's the difference between an Al Qaeda Base and a Pakistani School?
"I don't know man, I just fly the drones."
What does Helen Keller say when she touches a basketball?
Duhhuuughhhr.
What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
What do suicidal people do in their spare time?
Hang out.
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
Superman was flying one day when he saw Wonder Woman laying by the pool completely naked. He thought, "I can fuck her so fast she wouldn't even know what happened." So he then flew down to the pool and did fuck her.
Wonder Woman stood up and said, "What was that?" The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole stinks!"
What's black and sitting in a chair? Steven Hawking after a house fire.
What did the plug hole say to the plug? "We are so in sync."
What's the difference between a spare tire and dead hookers? I don't have 8 spare tires in my trunk.