What did the Olympic Swimmer call his son?
Paul.
Whats Jokes
A father and a son were painting pictures together. The son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T, and the son said, "What happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle. The father replied with, "You know what happened, you were there." The son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings. They're exactly the same.
The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.
What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?
Little boys' pants half off.
What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.
What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.
What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump?
One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets.
What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump?
It just doesn't work...
What are Mexicans' favorite sport?
Cross-country
What are Mexicans' favorite sport?
What's the difference between an ISIS training center and a school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.
What's so special about bullets?
They do work after they are fired.
Did you know that, statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile? Not me though, not me though; I live next door to a lil 10 year old boy with a FAT ASS yenno what I'm sayin'???
What is the opposite of salt water?
Pepper water.
What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic.
Damn, DIN just went over me and I'm trying to figure out what it is. A camel's dick.
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
What did the grape say to the banana? "Stop graping me!"
What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"
What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
Q: What's 8 inches and makes my wife scream when I put it in her mouth?
A: Her dead fetus.