Whats jokes
What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident?
An amputation.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
What do you call a fish that can use a katana?
A salmon-rai.
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."
What's worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree?
One baby nailed to 10 trees.
A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says, "Okay, I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts." So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says, "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says, "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop.
The doctor says, "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me?" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."
So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says, "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says, "What should their names be?"
The uncle replies, "Well for your daughter, Denise." "That's a nice name," comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies, "Denephew".
What did the blind man say on Christmas?
"I can feel your presents!"
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
What did Steven Hawking say?
Nothing.
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
What's fast and almost got away?
A Mexican jumping the border.
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
What do you call a hot Mac Book Pro?
A Mac Daddy Pro.
A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.
When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa
What did the panther say at the poker party?
I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.