Whats jokes
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.
Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT! GET OUT!"
Priest: "Ok, what about the children?"
Father: "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"
Priest: "Do you think we'll have time?"
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic and the other is a priest.
What’s a cow with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A Sax-O-Bone.
What did the suicidal leprechaun say?
"Irish I was dead."
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What's Africa's greatest sporting achievement? The 2018 World Cup...
What do you call a knight that has one arm? A first battle night.
What do you call a knight that lost both arms? A two battle useless knight.
What did the house wear to the party? A dress.
What was a pedophile's hardest thing? Fitting in!
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
What's an egg's favorite phrase?
An eggspression.
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
Kids end up playing with toys, but adults end up playing with boobs.
Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George!
What's the difference between cars and grass?
They both have wheels, except for the grass.
I entered Kian's house. At the top of the stair, I was greeted by my greatest fantasy, JOHN. He said in a manly tone, "Hello there." I walked slowly up the stairs and greeted him back. As I walked past his room, I felt uneasy. I walked into Kian's room to find no one. I turned around and gasped. John is standing there, a bulge had appeared and poked me as he got nearer. He pushed me onto Kian's bed. The bed was that bad it broke as I fell onto it. John says, "A broken bed is nothing to worry about." I look up at him in disbelief, he's more masculine than I thought. He thrust himself onto me, his crotch area sticky to the touch. He then ripped a fart as he bent over, at this point I knew it was too late John, the fart he ripped (sticky to the touch) had me so in shock I wasn't ready for what was next, he picked and jumped on my head ripping the most monstrous, enormous, deadly, sticky to the touch fart I'd ever seen, it knocked me out. I awoke to find I was in the WALLS. I looked out to find I was in the glory hole, my worst nightmare had become reality, I fully understood my purpose in life was to the holy glory hole, I heard "GRANDAD CAN I GET SOME V-BUCK" I then knew I was in for some Kian treats.
The end