Whats jokes
So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.
Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it and shouts "I love my country!" Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, "I love my country!" Finally, the Iraqi man drops a bomb and shouts, "I love my country!"
Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, "What's so funny?" And the boy says "When I farted, my house blew up!"
Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.
I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.
Q) What did the airplane say to the little boy?
A) Nothing, airplanes don't talk!
What phone do orphans have?
An iPhone 10R.
What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
Eating the wheelchair.
What did the hungry Dalmation say when he had some kibble?
That hit the spot!
What's a current's favorite juice?
Black "current"!
What do you call a white man surrounded by black men? Coach.
What's Reddit?
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.
What time is it when a cow sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!
What do you call a magician with no magic? A dyslexic c**t.
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?
His teeth.
What has 3 legs, 4 arms, and 5 heads?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
What did the bitch say to her sister when she stepped on her toe? Oww, mitosis!