Whats jokes
A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.
He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....
What did Onett and Threed reply to their child?
"I love you Twoson."
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
What's yellow all over and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What did Yarn Yoshi say to Poochy whilst trying to solve a puzzle?
"Alright Poochy, it's time to get crafty!"
What’s Brock from Pokemon's favorite food?
Brockoli.
What do you call a place where people die?
Rosshall Academy.
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
What do you call a retreat in war?
A backup plan.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
What did the paintings name their daughter?
Palette.
What does a skeleton say when he has lots of work?
"I have a ton of work, skele-ton."