Whats jokes
I was staying over at my friend's; for the purpose of the joke, he shall be called Kian. It was 03:00 am and everyone else was asleep when I heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it. Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge; it was thought he had a huge slong.
The banging was getting louder, and so too was my heartbeat. I opened John's door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked. There was a glory hole through the wall where I could make it Kian's ass. This is what I have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts, which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards John. I shoved [my] 1-inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, "You little gimp, get on the bed."
Kian came in the room with a 2-litre bottle of Irn Bru. He demanded, "What the fudge are you doing?"
I replied smoothly, "Kian, you tracksuit warrior, you have a camel toe!"
Kian fires back, "Shut it, Paul, you have genital warts!"
John screams, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
He then gives us it so rough I can't walk the next day, but [I] feel pleasured for eternity.
By Lewis
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
What's 9 divided by 11?
Well, I know it's less than two alright!
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
What goes in hard but comes out soft?
Gum.
What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."
Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"
Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"
Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."
Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"
Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.
What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?
A T-ex.
What is the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but their flag is a big plus!
What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
High definition or addictionary.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).
What do you call a fish without eyes?
- Fsh.
Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.
No, what did you get? Older.
What place can you find a cow? Mc'Donalds (Eieio)
What did the 90s rocker Space Engineer in multiplayer Miner yell at the Troll stealing his stuff?
"Hey! give me my Nickelback!"
What did Robin say to Batman when they were getting chicken?
Hahaha, I don't know.
What does Stephen Hawking eat?