Q: What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
A: A Lamborghini isn't a very fun hobby.
Whats Jokes
People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.
Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?
12 year old me: Yeah!
Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?
Me: What?
Q: What's the difference between a grandma fetish and necrophilia?
A: A few weeks.
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
What happened when the 400+ women ate a slice of cake?
She died the next weekend.
What did the cow say to the prostitute?
Moo.
What did Nicki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?
"Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you."
I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.
What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.
Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared of being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home, so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.
What's the difference between babies and onions? I cry when I cut onions.
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
What is blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
What's the worst part of a Down Syndrome relationship? There's more downs than ups!
What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?
A cock sucker.
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
What runs but does not walk? It's water.
What did the first rape victim say to the second rape victim?
"You are a consequence of rape!"