Whats jokes
The date is April 1st.
Somebody asks you what you are doing.
“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“
A blonde, redhead, and brunette are all sitting in a hospital's waiting room for ultrasounds.
After a while, the brunette giggles while rubbing her belly. Both the blonde and redhead look over at her and ask, "What's with the giggling?"
The brunette replies, "I'm having a boy!"
The blonde and the redhead ask, "How do you know?"
"Because he was on top!" The brunette replies again.
The three go back to conversing, and then the redhead starts to giggle while rubbing her belly.
"What's with the giggling?" The blonde and brunette ask.
"I'm having a girl!" The redhead replies.
"Well, how do you know?" The blonde and brunette ask again.
"I was on top!"
All of a sudden, the blonde bursts into tears.
"Oh, honey! What's wrong?" The redhead and brunette ask.
"I'm having puppies!"
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
What color is a burp?
Burple!
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
What's both red, white and sometimes purple?
My arms...
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
What do you call a pig with two legs? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
What do you call a cow without any legs?
Ground beef!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?
A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.
Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.
Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"
Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."
Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"
Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."
Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"
Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."
What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"
What step did the DNA not take in his math equation?
He forgot to adenine!
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy?
BK doesn’t sell real meat.
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.