Whats jokes
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.
The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"
The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?
It only takes 1 nail to hang a painting!
What do you call an expert fisherman?
A "MASTER-BAITER".
What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?
An orphan.
What's a popular name in China? Curiosity, because curiosity killed the cat.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of comedy? Stand up.
What do royals and hot dogs have in common?
They're usually in bread.
What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?
Suicide Boomer.
What's the difference between a white and a black fairytale? White begins with, "Once upon a time..." Black begins with, "Y'all motherf...s ain't gonna believe this sh.."
What do you get when you go to the beach and you get a tan on your feet?
Tan toes.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing, let them wait for their parents.
Little Timmy walked in on his parents having sex. His parents look at him in fear. Little Timmy asks, "Mom, Dad, what are you doing?"
The mom replies with, "We are playing house. We'll let you play when you're older," the dad says. So the next day Timmy goes over to play with his friend Johnny, who was, ironically, Timmy's neighbor. Johnny asks, "How was your sleep last night?" "I saw my mom and dad playing house last night," Timmy says. "But they told me I could play with them when I'm older."
After a little bit of playing with Johnny, Timmy went home and saw his Dad playing house with his babysitter. "Dad, what are you doing?" Timmy asks. "I'm playing house with your babysitter," Timmy's Dad said. "But I saw you play house with Mom last night," Timmy told his father. "Well, don't tell your mother," his dad said.
What is a cow's favorite move? -- The sound of moooosic.
So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.
One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
What is different about priests and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to cum on your face.
What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?
One has water; the other one doesn’t.