Whats

Whats Jokes

Dick

Susie was in her mother's room one night, as her mother was getting ready for bed. She had slipped off her blouse; her boobs, plum and perky. Susie had asked what are those and will I get them? Her mother had said they were boobs and she would grow some in a few years. Her mother told Susie to find her father and say goodnight.

So Susie left, headed down the hall to the bathroom where her father was showering. Susie knocked on the door, he said come in. He had moved the shower curtain over just a bit. Susie said she loved him, and then seen her father's dick. Shocked, Susie asked her father what that was and if she would get one. Her father said it was a dick, and he said Susie would get it after her mother went to bed.

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  • Chief

    A man is out west driving and on the edge of town comes across a tourist stand and sitting in front is an Indian chief right out of central casting. Dour look, full headdress, a glass jar and a sign that says "Indian chief know all! $5". So the fellow's curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the chief, puts $5 in the jar and asks "What did I have for breakfast on this day 10 years ago?" Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Hmmm eggs. You had eggs!"

    "Eggs?" shouts the guy "Everybody has eggs! I've been had!" throws his hands in the air and leaves in a huff.

    Ten years on, as fate would have it the fellow has occasion to be driving through the same town and sure enough he comes across the same stand, Indian chief, sign, and jar. So he stops the car and saunters across the road, goes up to the chief like a smart-ass, holds up his hand and says "How". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Poached."

    Inch

    What is 14 inches long and starts with D?

    A Dookie From GREEN DAY

    Pig

    What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?

    Jurassic Park.

    Girlfriend

    Girlfriend: Am I pretty or ugly?

    Boyfriend: You're both!

    Girlfriend: What do you mean by that?

    Boyfriend: You're pretty ugly!!!

    Homework

    Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?

    Students: Eggs.

    Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?

    Kids: Bacon.

    Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?

    Kids: Homework.

    Planet

    Gay person to girl: What’s your favorite planet?

    Girl: Penus-(penis)(venus), and what is yours?

    Gay person: What else, it's Your Anus (Uranus)!😅

    Dad

    A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"

    Shit

    A man takes his dog out and steps in shit. He exclaims "WHAT THE DEUCE!"

    Cancer

    What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?

    They both have an expiry date.

    Butcher

    I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.

    She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."

    Dog

    My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.

    She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

    Sister

    What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"

    Portal

    Me walking in to the office:

    Principal: Tell me, what did you do?

    Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...

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  • Rage

    What did the mincrater do when his Xbox turns off?

    He raged! 😱