Whats jokes
The Cheerio Joke
Let's say you're in high school, and your popularity level was based on what Cheerio you are. So there's Extra-Frosty Cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted Cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there's the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there's your Cheerio which is the Chocolate Cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who's an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines.
So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut Cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular Cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty Cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty Cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes.
The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she's going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; "Oh there wasn't a punch line."
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed, but you only have 2 bullets left. What do you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
What soda do mountains drink? Mountain Dew.
Q: What kind of building weighs the least?
A: A lighthouse!
What do sheep hate?
Their enemies: goats!
Roses are blue, violets are blue.
What? Ohh, shit!!!!!! I hate having dyslexia!
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies? Windows plays the shutdown music.
What do you call the ghost of the Thanksgiving turkey? A Poultrygeist.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!
If you're ever bored, just beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?
The dry bear.
What do you call a group of redneck superheroes?
The Inbredibles.
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.
If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What does a cow watch?
MooTube.