What is the difference between the snow ❄️ and sun 🌞? Snow is slippery, and the other kind 🧒 of weather is not slippery.
Whats Jokes
What did the sweet potato say to the potato when he was told to hurry?
I yam.
What did the potato say when the sweet potato told it to hurry?
I yam.
There were two guys in an asylum. One was named Kenny, and the other was Bob. The nurse went down the hall and saw Kenny acting like he was packing his bags. The nurse said, “What are you doin', Kenny?” Kenny said, “Going to Florida for the week.” The nurse said, “Alright, see ya when you get back.”
Next day, the nurse went down the hall again and saw Kenny lying down acting like he was holding a wine glass. The nurse said, “What are you doing, Kenny?” Kenny said, “I am at the beach.” The nurse said, “Oh, I forgot you're in Florida for the week, see ya when you get back.” Bob's room was across the hall. The nurse went further down the hall and saw Bob on his bed jerking off. The nurse said, “Goddamnit, Bob, what are you doing?” Bob said, “Shhh, I am fucking Kenny's wife right now, he is in Florida for the week.”
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, bleach.
What's big and yellow and can't swim? A bus filled with children.
What do you call male mermaids?
Mer-butlers!
There was a man who had just moved from a foreign country. He just moved into his apartment and was watching his favorite TV shows. The first one was "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me," the second one was "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives," and the last one was "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!"
There had been a murder in the area, and the man was walking in the park when a cop showed up and asked him, "Sir, have you seen this man?" and held up a photo. The man said "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me." The cop said, "Sir, what did you use?" and the man said "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives." After that, the cop said, "Sir, I'm going to have to arrest you," and the man said "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!" The screen goes black, and all you can here "chk-chk. BANG"
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.
The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.
He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.
When he died, the Angel came back for him.
"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.
"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."
Teacher: What does a chicken give you?
Student: An egg!
Teacher: What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework!
What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?
None.
They're both imaginary.
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
What is big, fun, [and] loud?
A school bus 🚌
What time is it when you stand on a pile of money in the bank?
High interest!
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home, and walk walk home from school today? And...
What time is it when you get home?
What has 2 legs and walks? A human.
What hype is this place out? Is it for the night? You cannot say what is a great night. I have a good night.
What did the duck eat for lunch?
Soup and quackers.
Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.
