Whats jokes
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes.)
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Q: What is the hardest part of a cabbage?
A: Wheelchair.
What is a neonatal's first time in the world?
What do you call a fish with no tail? A one-eyed grape.
What do you think of your mom? I can do it.
What do you call a bloody pig?
HAMorrhage!
What do squats eat? Numbers.
Guess what, chicken butt?
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attempt a suicide, guess what? I failed.
What animal is always at a baseball game? A bat.
An orphan walks into a bar and the barman says, "What are you doing here? You need parent's permission!"
"Oh no, who will I ask?" the orphan says.
What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
What is the best day to go to the beach?
On Sunday.
What happens when the music note starts to misbehave?
Then he gets into treble!
Like if you know what ashes are.
What kind of dogs do miners like best?
Golden retrievers, haha, get it?
🚘 What is as old as the earth 🌎 and new every month? The moon.