Well Jokes

I was walking down main street when I saw a child.

I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get a my balls back from the vet."

He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?

"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, expeciy when your a furry."

So 2 kids argued and insulted each other...

KID 1: Your dad left because he didn't want you so why don't you kill yourself?

KID 2: Well your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you.

I’m going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!

well being an American is just a joke itself

Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?

Well neither did she!!!

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant. Dad: well is she already part of the family? Son: Yes, why? Dad: then there’s no need to be worried.

How did protestants performed in 16 century well done

People ask me if my friend jumps of a bridge will I go as well. Of course not. I am a leader I will go first, my friend will jump after me!

there was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was? she said well son do you see that guy over there across the road, go give him a high-five. Son said but I can't see. mom said that's the point

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said "I inherited a watering hole." Bewildered I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?" "I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly there was also two towers included in the box as well..

I wanted to open a Brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was unfortunately not so well received.

The real dead hooked joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC, you know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker Pork. Concidering it stretching from the 80's-2000's pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton Pork.

My bff asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?" I said: "Why?" My bff says: "Well its because he was already cheating." I said: "KNEW IT!"

What do you call the worst joke ever?

Well according to my mom, I am.

Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”

A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is. So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks 'What are you?', the baby bunny replies 'Well I'm a baby bunny. What are you?' the baby skunk says 'Well I don't know am I a baby bunny too?' the baby bunny says 'No you're not a baby bunny.' so the baby skunk asks 'Well what am I then?' the baby bunny replies 'Well you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white so you must be Mexican.'

Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...

Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)

AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]