Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guys body they notice when they walk over he has a boner the first doctor decides why not fuck him he still has a boner left in him the 2nd says well he's dead and I I'm a virgin the 3d one says I can't I'm on my period and then says okey why not he already dead it's not like he doesn't smell bad after all that they go to walk out and the guy pops up and says thanks for saveing my life pumping blood back into my body...........
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that your a MILF. My mom said what that I reply Mom I'd Like To Fuck. My mum started out to laugh then she told well new do need a new step dad.
Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.
Did you hear about the Boston marathon cause well I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away
How did Stephen Hawkins make it up the stair way to heaven? Well he didn’t they invented an elevator
Hey guys! It's Triple G you can give me more ideas on jokes, mainly Fish and Sea jokes as those are the jokes I specialise and only do best on the comment section below. Please do feel free to thumbs down and comment on improvements as well as thumbsing up and saying what you liked! :)
Au revouir, GGG
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"
is your refrigerator running ''yeah i guess'' well you better go catch it haha im girl it funny
So I went to my friend's funeral today. As we were all leaving, a kid put a "get well soon" card next to my friend's grave. 'Poor kid'.
puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (ill never be able to do it) the mother: AI NINO ( OH CHILD ) the teen: QUE? ( WHAT?) the mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! ( DONT START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN) the teen: I CANT DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA the mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH) the teen: QUAL ( WIHCH) the mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD) the teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA ( THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE) *a phone buzzes* the teen: whose phone is that ma? unknown: MR PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE * runs to bag opens white one and sticks hand in* the teen : HAIR GELL
Knock Knock “who’s there?” A man with a drum “well tell him to beat it!
Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat...
Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!"
Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"
Teacher: what’s 2+2
Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh
Teacher: well jimmy I can see your going places not college but places
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)
How come Leper's don't play cards? Well, if they lose a couple hands...
Me: *makes chuck norris meme* Internet: *all the other memes are dead now* Me: well shit.
Whats 9 divided by 11
Well i know its less than two alright
Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism Teacher: What? Boy: Well... Never mind, he's well supported
I once auditioned to be in sausage party. I thought I filled the role well.
Have you heard of the new book about Anti-Gravity? Well I just can't seem to put it down