Welcome Jokes

WELCOME TO THE FAST FOOD DIVORCE CENTER WHERE YESTERDAYS LIES ARE TODAYS FRIES

hello welcome to abortion pizza your loss is our sauce

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Knock Knock Who's There? Tank Tank who? You'er Welcome.

Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.

What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate? "Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"

Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic where yesterday's meat is todays treat. How may I be of service?

How to get rid of your depression: 1. Stop self pittying 2. Realize you can't 3. Fucking deal with it Your welcome

Gays are always welcome on my Redneck Party Bus. NOT!

So there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here so take your drink, mates and fuck off." He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense." replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, He's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!". He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink he opens with, "Say aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."

Welcome to Jimmy’s orphanage and pizza shop where today’s loss is a sauce how may I help you

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO (don't bother to like or comment I just had to say this)

So I was watching YouTube and then my Friend says “Those videos never get old” and I replied “Just like a Make-A-Wish kid” and after I said that he shot me in the head and said “And now neither do you.” And now I’m in heaven and God says to me “Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies and I said “Are there summer women” and now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero. After he killed Hitler

Young Couple gets banned from church.

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.

After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!"So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then he asks the middle aged couple the same question "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.

"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."

"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"

"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7 - When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the 'bright side' of it. She said "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome" 54 students died that day.

I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen" So, I did what I had to do, and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!

I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.