The 80+ Best Welcome Jokes

Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.

Whats the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"

When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"

Hi, Welcome to Dave's Orphanage you make them we take them how may I help you?

imagine getting a call and it says "welcome to Davids orphanage you make them we take them how may we help you.

Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make em, we scrape em. No fetus can beat us.

Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic where yesterday's meat is todays treat. How may I be of service?

What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate? "Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"

How to get rid of your depression: 1. Stop self pittying 2. Realize you can't 3. Fucking deal with it Your welcome

Son: Dad, why did name my sister Paris? Dad: Because she was made there. Son: Thanks, Dad. Dad: You're welcome, Backseat.

Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!

I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO (don't bother to like or comment I just had to say this)

Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.

All school meetings introductions:

Grade School; “Welcome Girls and Boys!”

Middle School; “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”

High School; “Fingerers and fingerees,”

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7 - When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the 'bright side' of it. She said "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome" 54 students died that day.