Weight jokes

Yo mama so old, on her birth certificate it said "expired."

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittles popped out.

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.

Yo mama so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a shopping list.

Yo mama so ugly, she made the devil go to church.

Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."

Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"

Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.

Yo momma so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the floor cracked up.

Yo mama sooooooo fucking fat, when she takes a step, she needs a 5-min break.

Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!

Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.

Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?

Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.

Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.

Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.

Brother 2: You monster.

Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?

Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.

Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.

Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!

Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.

Brother 1: Found them.

*imaginary mother and brother fade away*

Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.

Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.

Yo mama is so fat that she crushed her PlayStation profile.

Aliana is so fat, she can't fit through a hula hoop.

Yo mama's so skinny that when she walks outside, she floats to Heaven.

If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?

Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!

Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.

You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.

Zion is so fat that his dick can't even fit in his wife's pussy.

I keep hearing "Obesity kills."

My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"

Yo momma so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall!

Why are Japanese always so skinny?

Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.

Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣

Joe Mama's so fat, when she goes in the elevator, she has to go down.

Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it said "Damn!"

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.