Weight jokes
How much did the liver weigh?
It weighed a skeleTON.
Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.
Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairs to heaven.
Yo mama so fat that you need a jack stand to get her up.
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
What did Eminem call himself when he lost weight?
Slim Shady.
She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.
Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...
Why did AlexDaEgg fall down the stairs? Because he is fat.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, NASA says a meteor hits Earth.
Yo momma so fat, Santa said, "Ho, ho, ho, I've gotta go!"
Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.
Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?
Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.
Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.
Your mama's so fat, when she grew an inch, she pushed the Earth down.
She got on the scale, said "to be continued."
Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.
You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale said: "OOOWWWWW!!!! Get off me, you overweight bucket of lard."
You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.