Weight jokes

Yo mama so fat, she was the asteroid that killed the dinos.

Yo mama so fat, she can't go up the elevator; she can only go down.

Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.

Yo momma so fat, Santa said, "Ho, ho, ho, I've gotta go!"

Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.

Your mama's so fat, when she grew an inch, she pushed the Earth down.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, NASA says a meteor hits Earth.

Why did AlexDaEgg fall down the stairs? Because he is fat.

Yo mama so fat...

That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!

Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.

Your mom was so fat that she couldn't have a man and couldn't go through the door.

I'M JOKING, DON'T GET MAD!

Yo momma so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the floor cracked up.

What did Eminem call himself when he lost weight?

Slim Shady.

A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"

Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...

Yo mama's so fat, when she went on the scale it said, "Still counting."

You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.

Yo mama is so fat, when she was a spy, she was called "double obese."

My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.

When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.