Weight jokes

Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairs to heaven.

Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.

Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time."

I have 2000 pounds of one-ton soup.

My diet:

Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...

Joe Mama so fat when she stepped on the sidewalk, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Your mama is so fat, the wall couldn't support her picture.

Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.

It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.

Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"

Yo mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his fingers, she was still there.

Yo mama so fat that when she went on the scale, it showed her phone number.

Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.

Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.

Yo mama so fat, she was the asteroid that killed the dinos.

Yo mama so fat, when she touched the stairs, it said, "To be continued!"

Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale and it said a.k.a. "error."

Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, she sinks!

You're so fat, when you jumped, the whole planet wiggled.

Your mama is so skinny she can dodge raindrops.

When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'