Weight

Weight jokes

Mama

Your mama is so fat.

She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.

Mama

Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.

Yo mama

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale said: "OOOWWWWW!!!! Get off me, you overweight bucket of lard."

Mum

Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!

Starter

Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?

Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.

Mama

Yo mama so fat...

That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!

Mama

Yo mama's so fat, when she went on the scale it said, "Still counting."

Fat

You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.

Squat

A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"

Mama

Yo mama is so fat, when she was a spy, she was called "double obese."

Momma

Yo momma so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the floor cracked up.

Momma

Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.

Mom

Your mom was so fat that she couldn't have a man and couldn't go through the door.

I'M JOKING, DON'T GET MAD!

People

Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.

Mama

Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, NASA says a meteor hits Earth.