Weight jokes
Yo mama so fat, they had to give her a license plate.
Yo mama so fat, when she takes an elevator, it ALWAYS goes down!
Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...
Why did the wheel fall?
Because there were too many fat people on it.
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.
Q: Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.
Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven.
The chicken is so fat.
Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.
My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"
Yo mama's so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed.
Your mom is so fat, she can't make it through the door.
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.
Yo mama is so fat, she got locked in a weapon store, and she broke it down without any weapons.
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
Name an ant which is very heavy?
Eleph-ant.