Weight jokes
Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."
Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!
My sis a fat cow.
Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.
Yo mama is so fat, she got mixed up with Godzilla!
Yo mama is so fat, she has her own personal gravity.
You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".
You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.
Bully: Your mom gay.
Me: There's something on your chin.
Bully: Where?
Me: No, on your fourth one.
Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.
What is stuck between a doorway?
Rebel Wilson.
Your mama is so fat, when she went camping, the bears hid their food from her.
Location is in London by the way.
One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money.
His friend: "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"
Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.
Why are fish easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.
Yo mama so fat Thanos had to clap.
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.
You're so fat that you have to live on Pluto so you don't destroy any of the planets.
Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"
I'm a fat cow.
Your momma is so fat, the whole Earth falls down to 100,000,000 ft.