Weight jokes
Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollers at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. When I go outside tomorrow, there better be something that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds!" Bill says, "Ok." The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it. It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.
Your momma is so fat, she can't even go skinny dipping.
Your mom is so fat that she mains Heavy from the game Team Fortress 2!
What’s another name for a cow?
You... cause you're fat.
How much did the liver weigh?
It weighed a skeleTON.
Your mom is so fat that she broke your crush!
Because all I do is pound it, man. I would put you on my "600 Pound Life" if you didn't weigh 1,000.
Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.
Yo mama so fat, she stand on the scale and the scale says: "I want your weight, not your phone number!"
Yo mama so fat, Trump used her like a wall.
Your momma is so skinny, she hula hoops with a Cheerio!
Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."
Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!
My sis a fat cow.
Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.
Yo mama is so fat, she got mixed up with Godzilla!
Yo mama is so fat, she has her own personal gravity.
You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".
You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.
Bully: Your mom gay.
Me: There's something on your chin.
Bully: Where?
Me: No, on your fourth one.
Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.