Weight jokes

So fat you're a scale said, "Fat ass."

Yo mama so fat, she said the N-word!

I went on a ballooning holiday recently. I put on four stone.

Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.

She got mad and ate the bus!

Well, we've removed all of the excess fat from your body, and all that's left, I'm afraid, is the wig, Mrs. Trump.

Yo mama so fat, they had to give her a license plate.

Yo mama so fat, when she takes an elevator, it ALWAYS goes down!

Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...

Why did the wheel fall?

Because there were too many fat people on it.

When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”

You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.

Q: Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake.

My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.

Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.

Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven.

The chicken is so fat.

Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.

My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"

Yo mama's so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed.

Your mom is so fat, she can't make it through the door.