Weight jokes

One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"

Yo mama so fat, she fell off both sides of the bed!

Joe Mama is so fat that when she sat on an iPhone, it turned into an iPod.

You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.

Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.

Yo momma so fat, when she pulled out the chair, it screamed and broke itself.

Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.

My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂

Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎

You're so fat, when you fall, the sidewalk cracks.

Why are Japanese always so skinny?

Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.

You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Yo mama so fat, when she ran... oh wait never mind.

You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.

When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."

Your mamma is so fat that she has a gravitational pull.

Yo momma so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the floor cracked up.

Your mom was so fat that she couldn't have a man and couldn't go through the door.

I'M JOKING, DON'T GET MAD!

If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,

Try salad 🥗.

Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.

Yo mama so fat that when she went out in high heels, she came back in flip flops.