Weight jokes
Yo mama so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
You're so fat, when someone calls you fat, you get depressed and cut you a slice of cake.
Yo mama is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it says "to be continued."
Yo mama so fat, she made Fat Albert jealous!
Your mama is so fat, it said "To be continued..." then it loaded and said "One person at a time!"
Yo mama so fat I bet if she farted, the whole Universe go Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-BOOM.
Why are people in Japan always skinny?
Because last time there was a "Fat Man", a whole city disappeared.
You were born so fat they needed two cranes to carry you.
Your mom is so fat that she made the earth flat.
Yo mama is so fat that people had to take pictures of her from space.
You're so fat, when you step on a scale it says, "To be continued."
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
Yo mama so fat when she stepped on a monster truck she turned it into a lowrider.
Yo mama so fat, when she went into an elevator, she had to go down.
One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.
Your mom is so overweight that she broke the stairway to heaven.
One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"
Yo mama so fat, she fell off both sides of the bed!
Joe Mama is so fat that when she sat on an iPhone, it turned into an iPod.
You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.