Weight jokes
Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?
Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.
Fat: Dang...
Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.
Yo mama so fat, she is 4 feet tall laying down.
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
140 calories.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
Your mama is so fat, she broke the stairs to Heaven.
Yo momma's so fat that she plays pool with planets.
Yo mama so old, on her birth certificate it said "expired."
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittles popped out.
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.
Yo mama so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a shopping list.
Yo mama so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
Yo mama so fat, a bus ran into her and she said, "WHO THREW THAT TWINKIE AT ME?!"
You shouldn’t bully fat people.
They already have enough on their plate.
Yo mom is so fat that when she stands on a scale, she broke it, lol.
Your momma so fat when she jumped the world collapsed.
Your mom is fat, oh yeah, oh yeah, uh, uhhh.
Yo mama is so skinny, she can dodge raindrops.
Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.
A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."
"Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake."
Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.
Yo mama so fat...
An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes.
So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady, like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance.
Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.